Mutual Friends

Today I'm eliminating people that I only have a connection of "mutual friends" with.  The people who I share 30-50 connections with, but still don't have any direct contact, or real history with.  I've chosen them with a persona non grata as a starting point.

1.  You "babysat" for me once on a car ride to a Phish show. 

2.  Sigh.  A really nice guy, who was really just a friend-of-a-friend when we lived in the same town.  Sometimes I'm conflicted about removing people, because I don't want them to take it personally.  But realism needs to win out if this is going to be successful.  But you haven't posted since June, so....

3.  You were really just kind of a mean person in high school.  I hope that's changed, but don't have any evidence either way.  The guys you hung out with were all just rude and mean, and I even think you nicknamed me "crappy" at one point.  I'm not holding a grudge, but also not holding on to people who haven't influenced me for the better.

4.  One-way posting:  I tried twice to start a dialogue with you, and you left me hanging.  And then posted a guilt-inducing comment about not acknowledging your mom's passing when I was traveling to our hometown?!?  And I don't think I'd ever met her. 

Still whittling away!

More "Nevers"

1.  A childhood friend of my brother's.

2.  A girl I've known since elementary school, who could pinch her tiny nostrils shut, and keep them sealed by creating a vacuum in her beautiful head.  Weird thing to remember, eh?

3.  A guy who used to be a good friend, but has never said hello.  I suspect it has something to do with loyalties to an old bf of mine?  Meh.  Whatevs.

4.  A guy who used to make "artsy" films in high school.  I was in one.  Had to walk down a street a bunch of times, and then laugh into a camera.  I'm glad to see that segued into a career.  Well done!

5.  I've got nothing... were we in band together, maybe?  You own a bead-making/jewelry store now.  And, uh...

... that'll bring me down to 260.  Getting there, and getting bolder and more realistic about these "friendships," although there are still people I'm gun-shy about deleting for no real reason at all.  Even across 20 years and 2000 miles, I'm still overly concerned with people's opinions of me.  Interesting.

You can take the punk out of the gutter...

...but, no, you can't take the punk out of the gutter.

Last I saw you, you were making an honest attempt to pull yourself up by the bootstraps by becoming a model Starbucks employee, with aspirations to, what, own the company?  I mean, to the point that you ridiculed me for rating myself "too high" on their indoctrination training exams.  Really, dude?

And now, I see that everything you post is somehow anti-corporation.  Had an epiphany, did we?  I wonder what you're actually doing with yourself now (you were always good entertainment, after all), but we've had no interaction -- by my choice. 

Speaking of entertainment, I'm sorry I couldn't be there for your "dude" baby shower, complete with copious amounts of alcohol... and sex toys?!?!?  No, really, that's what it said, right there on the invitation you sent out to all hundred-or-so friends who were included.  Maybe you're just confusing the traditions of the bachelor/stag party with what usually goes on when you're settling down to become the caretaker of a tiny, helpless person.  Or maybe tiny infants immediately make you think of penetration with vibrating -- gah!  I can't even finish typing that sentence.  I'm sure your intention was to eschew all the behaviors of "respectable" society for one last night, but it came off really awkward.  Or else you're fucked up beyond my comprehension.

As much as I enjoy a good train wreck, I'm afraid this one will be too disturbing for me.  Sayonara.

Getting behind again...

So, another group send-off:

1.  Met you at a party.  We had a few beers, and a few common interests.  I thought maybe you'd be good to network with, but really, I'm not going back to work anytime soon.  Our mutual friend is right next door, so I know where to find you, should I need to.

2.  You're super-nice, but we don't interact at all, nor will we.  It was nice to be in the same chorus.  In high school.  That was a long time ago.  I have to admit, your constant linking to motivational and spiritual messages make me roll my eyes.  It's not you, it's me.  Whatever works for ya.

3.  What a great English teacher you were!  I enjoyed your class, and you really encouraged me to write well, which I continued into my college years.  However, we never write anything to each other...  Ciao!

4.  That "See friendship" thing?  Blank.  Which makes sense, seeing as how you're not a person, but a charity memorial fund. 

5.  Another shared last initial, and therefore, homeroom.  Oh, and that whole football/basketball/cheerleading thing.  But beyond that?  You look great -- cute little girl, cute twin boys.  Good luck.

6.  I met you ONE time, on a trip to Colorado, about eight years ago.  We have a couple of friends in common, and both like Pink Floyd.  Who doesn't like Pink Floyd, really?  So...

7.  Again, that "See friendship" thing-a-ma-jigger?  Blank.  Despite the fact that you were sorted into 7 of my different lists.  I think that if we were going to interact, it would have happened by now.  Glad to see you're in NYC, working onstage, and seemingly happy.


And that brings me down to a nice, round 265 friends.  Whittling, whittling away!!!

OWS: Weed yourself out!

I'm not going to get into my specific political beliefs here.  Not the place.

But I will say that I'm intolerant of idiocy. 

Today's deletion threw a political grenade in the form of an anti-Occupy Wall Street poster.  That's okay, that's his right.  The reason I have a problem with it, is that he just posted it to irritate people.  His "friends" proceeded to get into a full-out discourse on the sate of politics and capitalism in the resulting thread, and it was really interesting to read.  I enjoyed it immensely, mostly because it meant that these people were actually taking time to think.

And then he chimed back in with a message which was basically, "Hippies smell bad.  And they're in my way.  Derp"

Useless.

Waste of my time.

And I literally have never met you in real life (at one point, friend-of-a-FB-friend, you were occasionally interesting, so I approved your request) so this one is a no-brainer.  Pun intended. 

Thank you for the ninja flip.

And the night you tricked me into letting you leave my house -- super drunk -- by claiming that you had to use to bathroom, and then snagging your keys and driving away.  And all the times you scream-sang into my ear, because you thought you sounded awesome.

Aside from my initial hello to you, in June of 2009, we've been pretty mum friends.  Well, absolutely mum.  Good to see you're alive, hope the feeling is mutual. 

As you were.

Meh.

Friend-of-a-friend:  many of our "mutual" friends are likely to get cut, too.  You were the cousin of my first boyfriend/secret admirer.  In middle school.  It was a short-lived courtship, and our friendship was even more tenuous.  I'm glad to see you are well.  

Football.

Enough said?

It's a l-o-n-g season, and once again, we've never had any other interaction, don't live in the same town, are highly unlikely to visit each others' towns, and wouldn't know what to say if we bumped into each other.

I have a feeling there will be a few posts identical to this one, so for the sake of brevity, we'll just title those "Football" too, the rest will be presumed to be identical to this one.

Enough said. 

(Go Bills!)