Dammitsomuch!

Yesterday was my birthday.  So I got the requisite 68 "Happy birthday. I hope it's great!" posts.  Curmudgeonly as I try to be, even I was softened up by the 40-or-so keystrokes that were necessary (give or take a few dozen exclamation points) to brighten my day.

I'd even go so far as to say that a solid 25% of them were sincere. 

So you all win immunity.  At least for the next week or so.  No one will be voted off the island.

However, in the interest of keeping up with the project, I need to dismiss five "friends."  So, I removed myself from my groups.  All seven of them.  I wonder how much of my privacy slipped out through that sieve?

The next couple of weeks will be crazy busy.  Until next time....

Ebye.

Come ON.  Y'all are just making this too easy!!!

Tonight's friend to be-gone has been posting her Ebay listings.  Non-stop.  For the past week.  Dozens of them.

And they're for designer clothing, shoes, and handbags that each cost more than I spend on clothing in a year.  Okay, so maybe that's an exaggeration, but they certainly cost more than I'd spend on a shopping spree that I'd consider a good haul.

If I wanted to buy stuff, you know what website I'd go to?  Ebay!

It's irritating.  I know, I could just "hide" you, but the rest of your posts are music videos that don't appeal to me in the least, and shout-outs to your girlz in which you intentionally replace every letter "s" with a "z."  For realz.  You gotz to go.  

Your brother.

Endomondo, your identical twin brother is going today.  Same reasons.  I mean, really, it's only fair.

Well, except that he doesn't post the workout stuff...

But still -- I'm sure I won't be missed.  And I get to check something off my to-do list for today!

EndoFriendo

Ever heard of Endomondo?  Neither had I, until I friended this guy.

From their website:  "Endomondo is a sports community based on free real-time GPS tracking of running, cycling, etc. Bring your mobile on the track and get a complete training log."

Cool!  Really cool!  Useful information... for YOU.  Why, why, why post it for me to read every day?  Why?

So know I how his average speed, calories, distance, and duration whenever he goes out cycling.  Or skating.  Skating?  I'm picturing the opening credits of an eighties sitcom here, although I can't quite put my finger on which one...

Seeing as how you fit into multiple categories for elimination, goodbye!

Sunday Softies.

Today is my husband's birthday.  He's a keeper.  :)

If only so I can snag his photos, and nose about in the things his friends say to (and about) him.

I promise, we're not one of those couples who have Wall conversations that everyone else can read.  Those always feel awkward to me.  Like I'm eavesdropping.  Or like they're there purposefully.  The ones that say something like:

Wife:  Thanks so much, husband, for the new Maserati!
Husband: No problem, wife, we can drive it to the Obscure Band concert.  You know, the one we scored backstage passes to!
Wife: High five!!!
Husband: *Like*

Because, you know, just posting this stuff blatantly would be bragging.  But if it's in the context of a conversation then it's OUR fault for finding out about it.  We shouldn't be reading their publicly posted private messages!

Anyhoo.  My husband.  I love him.  I'll keep him. 
Even if he is getting old.

And still hasn't gotten me that damned Maserati!

The Player.

Listen.  You have been in the back of my mind as one to go eventually.
I thought you'd make it farther than this!

You see, you're also one of the "Nevers."  But you've been my personal soap opera for quite a while now.  You posted daily updates about the dissolution of your marriage (Dude, don't you know that everyone can see the dirty deets?) and it was almost endearing to see you vacillate between devotion and desperation.  I felt really bad for you, and was silently cheering you on from my side of the internet....

And then you got a little weird and religious for a while, and started posting scripture.  Whatever helps you cope is good for you.  If a picture if Jesus makes you feel better, who am I to judge?

And then you tried to shake it off, and publicly vowed that you were going to go out and get yours.  And you posted all those Jersey Shore "duck face near a brick

I forgot.

I forgot we were friends.

Apparently, you forgot you had a Basefook account.  I scanned through my list, and noticed that you had no profile photo.  I took a peek at your Wall.  The last posts were birthday messages from friends in August 2010.  There were a few scattered messages around the holidays, and a few of those "Who are your top friends?" -type apps.  Then happy birthdays from 2009.

This is too easy.

Goodbye, classmate and old friend's cousin.  I'll still think of you every time I watch Dazed and Confused.  You looked just like Sabrina!

The Nevers.

As in, "This person has NEVER interacted with me via Basefook."

Some I friended, some friended me.  Probably cases of  "Oh, hey, I wonder what that person is up to?"  Sometimes you remember a person as a real dynamo, and get curious to see if they ever made that million dollars, or managed to hook up with an entire pro football team.  Of course everyone wants to know if the skinny girl ended up fat.  Or if the guy who set your gaydar off screaming in preschool

Oh, my. I'm running behind.

Get it?  Running behind?

Oh... yeah, I guess I didn't make the joke yet.  Well, in hopes of getting caught up, I'm going to have a marathon post of deletions.  Here we go.

First up, a friend who only posts when he's going to be in some race, somewhere.  So, I understand you like running?  I know your finishing times, your place, and every injury you've sustained.  I know what the weather was like that day.  I know if you had to go uphill.  This is probably of immense interest to someone.  But to me?  Not so much.  I used to run, about 15-20 miles a week.  It was hurty.